I received my diagnosis on Tuesday--endometrial adenocarcinoma. I still can't believe it, only because it is too bizarre to comprehend. Yes, I have cancer.
If I think about it, I could be so angry at myself. Why did I wait 14 years to see a gynecologist? Why did I stay overweight for the majority of my life? Why did I not pay attention to my irregular monthly cycles? Or, rather, why did I think that it was part of my thyroiditis to have such irregularity for such a long time?
I am an educated person--I have a strong background in human biology. Was it denial? Was it distraction by other parts of my life? Was it laziness or indifference? At this point, does it really matter what I did wrong, or, is it more important to focus on what I will do now?
I now have to tell people. My mother is trying to hold it together--I think she wants to get us boxing gloves to fight this thing. I dropped the bombshell on my best friend by phone. I just couldn't wait any longer until we get together. She just started crying so I had to tell her that this beast will be beaten. If I had to develop cancer, I suppose this is the type to have. I mean, think about it--a hysterectomy and the self-enclosed cancer bag is gone! Take it out--get rid of it! I may think this but my people are harder to tell. They hear the "c" word and visions of death just well up. No, I am not going to die from this. I am going to fight this beast and I am going to WIN!!
So, on to a part of a journey not anticipated. This will be one hell of a ride.....
